Personal Growth

A Journey Down the Path of Life

As I write this, my life has never been better. I am alive, excited, exhilarated, and I can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning to see what life brings. Life wasn’t always like that. Life used to be full of anger, rage, and depression, overshadowed with the question, “What’s the point, anyway?”

Three years ago, I underwent a life changing transformation. You can read all about it by clicking on Journey to Spirit. The short version is this: I did the New Warrior Training Adventure, operated by the Mankind Project International. New Warriors is a brotherhood of men who have come together to develop a deeper understanding of self, and to live lives of integrity, accountability, and connection to feeling. Since I have done the training, I have continued to grow and learn from several different spiritual and psychological sources. What I have learned is this:

Depression arises from feelings of helplessness, of feeling that one cannot make meaningful changes in life, of being trapped. Life is on hold, and inaction, paralysis, procrastination, and indecision are the ‘soup de jour’ of the depressed.

Paralysis and inaction come from fear: Fear of change, fear of loss of security, certainty, and control. Fear of personal inadequacy. Fear of the judgment and disapproval of others. Fear of taking a strong deep look at one’s own inner self, for what might be found might not be pleasant at all.

Rage and anger stem from the perception of the inherent unfairness of life. If only it were different, if only I could have a break. And rage and anger stem from the perception that I cannot control the direction of life. I am a puppet and the world is not mine.

Fear, anger, and sadness are artifacts of the ego. It is the ego that measures itself against the world, it is the ego that finds itself one up or one down, it is the ego that makes judgments, and it is the ego that reacts to perceived inadequacies.

(work in progress)